Some days I just feel like the scum of the earth. And, in all reality, that's what we all are. Yes, I am saved. But I wish sometimes that after a person gets saved, they never had to deal with sin again. It just seems like I can't get away from it. One day after another I find myself confessing. I don't know why God loves me so much, but I know he does. I cannot fathom the depth of His love to love a sinner like me. I am almost in tears as I write this because that love He has is so immense it just overwhelms me. I am saddened to realize that the sins I commit every day dissappoint God so much. They hurt him like a wife hurts her husband by committing adultry. I can't even imagine. I just can't.
In lighter news, my babysitting went well. Needless to say, I was extremely worn out after a day and a half with a 3 year old. I can't imagine being a parent. How tiring! But, hopefully I will get to experience that someday! I'm already always exhausted in college...why not just have kids too! Eh, but I guess I need to get married first sooooo...haha....
Well, I'm leaving for school in 10 days. I'm excited! It's finally my Senior year that I have been waiting for forever. I will finally be an "adult" with a real job after this year. I'm hoping and praying that God will do great things in my life this year. I know He will. I am going to try to make prayer my main focus. It's always hard with how busy I am at school, but that is one of my goals.
I had today off or work, but I have to go in tomorrow, so I'd better get some sleep. Goodnight.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Sleepover
So tomorrow I am scheduled to babysit a 3 year old little cutie patootie from my church. Her name is Allison and she is my little buddy and i love her so much! Well, at first, it was supposed to just be for the day. Me and my mom were gunna take her to the Discovery Center, Moe's for lunch, and that was going to be our day. But, then Sandy wanted us to watch her Friday too, starting pretty early in the morning. So, this few hours of one day babysitting evolved into all day tomorrow, a "sleepover" lol, and half a day on Friday. This should be interesting b/c I've never had a sleepover with a 3 year old. But we're gunna have fun! We're gunna make cookies, and play, and build a fort and stuff so hopefully she gets all tired out and falls alseep early! Haha anyways, should be an interesting day. I am excited about Moe's though...haven't been there in a while and I do love it! Wow, I'm so tired....long day ahead so bedtime for bonzo for me! Goodnight.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Long Time No...Getting any younger...
Hey well, it's been quite some time since I have been on here. And I'm not very sorry for it...lol...I have been over the top busy and just not really had the time or the desire to write on here.
I've been working at Sam's Club. Thank the Lord it is almost time to leave to go back to school. I've decided that 3 months of the place is all I can really take. Now, don't get me wrong, I do think it is a good job. But, there's only so much of it before I start looking at the clock every 5 minutes wishing it was time to leave.
In happier news, I finished my summer online classes! Who knows how I did in them, and quite frankly, right now, I don't even care. Just as long as they are DONE! That makes me so happy! I don't really enjoy online classes. I'd much rather be in the classroom with a teacher. But, praise the Lord I got some credits out of the way.
Well, I turned 21 on Wednesday the 18th. That was pretty exciting. Haha. No, it was a good birthday. I did have to work, but it wasn't too bad b/c it was only 830-2. After work I went over to JC and got my allergy shot and then met my parents and grandparents at Olive Garden at 3pm for a late lunch early dinner sort of thing. It was a good time. My grandparents are so sweet and I honestly don't think they will be around for very much longer so I want to get all the time with them that I can. When I got home, my new phone have arrived in the mail! It wasn't a birthday present, but it was cool how it came on my birthday! I was (AM!!!) so excited about it! It's a pink RAZR phone and it is soooo cute! Anyways, I got a dvd and a gift card to Dick's from my parents. We had also made homemade ice cream the night before, so we had that too. Overall it was a nice, relaxing birthday.
But, turning 21 got me thinking. I was sure a few years ago that by the time I was 21 I would have done a lot of things that I have not yet done in my life. Now I'm not saying that I sat down and made a list entitled, "Things to Do by Age 21" or anything haha but looking back, I guess I always just assumed I would have done certain things. Things like...having my first boyfriend. I don't think I'm wrong in saying that lots of people think they are going to go to college, meet someone, fall in love, and get married soon after graduating. And I'm sure that happens for lots of people. I guess since I wasn't so popular with the guys in highschool, that I thought when I went away to college, things would be different. But I guess not. I laugh because every year after school it's like "ok only 3 more years left.." "ok only 2 more years left..." and now I have only 1 more year left of college before I'm on my own. But, in reality, I have my whole life to find somebody to love. I don't have, ya know, 9 more months to be around people my age. I have a long time and I'm sure God will provide. I want to love someone. I want to be loved. It is one of the deepest desires of my heart and I know God wants to grant me that. Almost every night last semester I would pray that God would show me who He has for me. And I will continue to do so until that day comes. I used to think that "grown ups" that were single were like weird and must have some sort of problem or something. But, I am regretful that I ever thought that. It may have been God's timing that I wasn't seeing. Ya know what? God is good all the time. And all the time....God is good. He's been so good to me. I know He has a plan for my life and if it is to never get married, then I will have to learn to be ok with that. God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me. :-)
I've been working at Sam's Club. Thank the Lord it is almost time to leave to go back to school. I've decided that 3 months of the place is all I can really take. Now, don't get me wrong, I do think it is a good job. But, there's only so much of it before I start looking at the clock every 5 minutes wishing it was time to leave.
In happier news, I finished my summer online classes! Who knows how I did in them, and quite frankly, right now, I don't even care. Just as long as they are DONE! That makes me so happy! I don't really enjoy online classes. I'd much rather be in the classroom with a teacher. But, praise the Lord I got some credits out of the way.
Well, I turned 21 on Wednesday the 18th. That was pretty exciting. Haha. No, it was a good birthday. I did have to work, but it wasn't too bad b/c it was only 830-2. After work I went over to JC and got my allergy shot and then met my parents and grandparents at Olive Garden at 3pm for a late lunch early dinner sort of thing. It was a good time. My grandparents are so sweet and I honestly don't think they will be around for very much longer so I want to get all the time with them that I can. When I got home, my new phone have arrived in the mail! It wasn't a birthday present, but it was cool how it came on my birthday! I was (AM!!!) so excited about it! It's a pink RAZR phone and it is soooo cute! Anyways, I got a dvd and a gift card to Dick's from my parents. We had also made homemade ice cream the night before, so we had that too. Overall it was a nice, relaxing birthday.
But, turning 21 got me thinking. I was sure a few years ago that by the time I was 21 I would have done a lot of things that I have not yet done in my life. Now I'm not saying that I sat down and made a list entitled, "Things to Do by Age 21" or anything haha but looking back, I guess I always just assumed I would have done certain things. Things like...having my first boyfriend. I don't think I'm wrong in saying that lots of people think they are going to go to college, meet someone, fall in love, and get married soon after graduating. And I'm sure that happens for lots of people. I guess since I wasn't so popular with the guys in highschool, that I thought when I went away to college, things would be different. But I guess not. I laugh because every year after school it's like "ok only 3 more years left.." "ok only 2 more years left..." and now I have only 1 more year left of college before I'm on my own. But, in reality, I have my whole life to find somebody to love. I don't have, ya know, 9 more months to be around people my age. I have a long time and I'm sure God will provide. I want to love someone. I want to be loved. It is one of the deepest desires of my heart and I know God wants to grant me that. Almost every night last semester I would pray that God would show me who He has for me. And I will continue to do so until that day comes. I used to think that "grown ups" that were single were like weird and must have some sort of problem or something. But, I am regretful that I ever thought that. It may have been God's timing that I wasn't seeing. Ya know what? God is good all the time. And all the time....God is good. He's been so good to me. I know He has a plan for my life and if it is to never get married, then I will have to learn to be ok with that. God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me. :-)
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