Plans, plans, plans....

Wow, a lot has changed since I posted last. Before I start this, I just need to say that God has been working overtime in my life, shaping me and molding me into the person He wants me to be. I never knew I could change so much in such a short amount of time.

Ok, where to start?....Well, the original plan for this year was that I would be finishing up my last semester of classes right now and then next semester I would be doing my student teaching internship at a local elementary school. I was getting all excited about being done with classes and graduating in May. I was starting to think about where I wanted to go after graduation and everything that goes along with that.

Due to some circumstances with one of my summer classes, I still have one more class to take besides my internship. And, according to Clearwater, I have to have all course work completed before internship. SO, I was going to have to go home for the Spring semester, take fulltime classes (so as not to have to start paying back loans and so as not to lose my health insurance), work, and then come back down here and pay buttloads of money for summer school, and then come back down in the fall for student teaching. After much reluctancy and tears, that was the new plan. THEN, my parents told me that I might as well just take an easy load of classes down here in the spring and pick up another minor and not have to come back for summer school and then do my thing in the fall. I was a lot happier with that decision, because honestly I love being here. I didn't want to have to cart all my crap home for a few months and then turn right around and cart it all back down here.

Well, anyways, the real point is: I have learned SO much in the past couple weeks. When I first found out about having to take a semester off and not graduate until next December, I was so upset. I had my life planned like 9 months in advance as to what I was going to do. I went to my advisor's office and just cried and cried trying to figure out what to do and if there was any way around the rules. I kept telling myself that God had a plan and there was a reason why this was happening. Finally, one day, I pretty much gave up holding onto my plans so tightly. I gave it over to God and really believed that He was in control and had a plan for what He was doing in my life. That very night, my mom called me with the idea of staying here. It was awesome that the same day I gave in to God, He allowed me to have this new opportunity of getting a History minor and maybe even my coaching minor too. I will also be down here for Spring soccer and for next season, even though I can't play. My coach wants to my help out with the team though, so that is a plus.

Anyways, as I said before, I am the type of person that thinks my plans are carved in stone and I get really upset when they change. I was talking to someone I consider a mentor of mine and he said that "A plan is just that...a plan". And that is so true. I don't know why I think my plans are the best. God's ways are higher than mine and He knows what is best for me. I know there is a reason for these changes and such, and I have learned intensely and QUICKLY to trust God. I was telling a friend that it is so easy, when someone else is going through a rough time, to tell them to trust God and that God has a plan and purpose for everything. But, your faith really gets tried when it's you that something is happening to. Those are the times when you're like, "ummm can God really do this?" I have such a small faith in such a big God.


SOOOOO....the new plan (haha....i should say tentative plan...) is:
Jan-May 08 Take 12 credits @ Clearwater
May-Aug 08 Work @ home
Aug-Dec 08 Student Teaching Intership @ Clearwater

Busy Busy Busy

Hey well it's been a long while since I have posted on here. Mainly, that is because I have come back to school, started soccer, been doing practicum, and just been being super busy. Soccer is going well. I'm realizing, especially seeing the young freshman girls coming in, that I am getting too old for this sport. I have been having so much fun with soccer though. It's a blast to get to know all the girls and getting to be somewhat of a leader too. Maybe someday I'll be brave like Jillian and put up some soccer pictures or something! Haha...we'll see!
School is pretty much kicking my behind, but what else is new? I am doing my second practicum. I am at a Christian high school and I am liking it so far. I am so excited that this is my last semester of classes and that I will be doing my internship/student teaching next semester. I think the professor who does the placements is going to put me at Plumb Elementary School, which I've heard, has a great PE program. I think I am leaning toward liking to teach elementary, instead of high school. I just love how the little kids still actually like PE and like to be active.
Right now I am supposed to be working on homework, but I'm going through the senioritis phase all over again. Man, I thought high school senioritis was bad, but this is ten times worse!!! It's gunna get me in trouble one of these days...haha...anyways...So I should probably go do some stuff now...or at least take a nap so I can be awaked enough to do stuff later.

a smattering of things

Some days I just feel like the scum of the earth. And, in all reality, that's what we all are. Yes, I am saved. But I wish sometimes that after a person gets saved, they never had to deal with sin again. It just seems like I can't get away from it. One day after another I find myself confessing. I don't know why God loves me so much, but I know he does. I cannot fathom the depth of His love to love a sinner like me. I am almost in tears as I write this because that love He has is so immense it just overwhelms me. I am saddened to realize that the sins I commit every day dissappoint God so much. They hurt him like a wife hurts her husband by committing adultry. I can't even imagine. I just can't.

In lighter news, my babysitting went well. Needless to say, I was extremely worn out after a day and a half with a 3 year old. I can't imagine being a parent. How tiring! But, hopefully I will get to experience that someday! I'm already always exhausted in college...why not just have kids too! Eh, but I guess I need to get married first sooooo...haha....

Well, I'm leaving for school in 10 days. I'm excited! It's finally my Senior year that I have been waiting for forever. I will finally be an "adult" with a real job after this year. I'm hoping and praying that God will do great things in my life this year. I know He will. I am going to try to make prayer my main focus. It's always hard with how busy I am at school, but that is one of my goals.

I had today off or work, but I have to go in tomorrow, so I'd better get some sleep. Goodnight.

Sleepover

So tomorrow I am scheduled to babysit a 3 year old little cutie patootie from my church. Her name is Allison and she is my little buddy and i love her so much! Well, at first, it was supposed to just be for the day. Me and my mom were gunna take her to the Discovery Center, Moe's for lunch, and that was going to be our day. But, then Sandy wanted us to watch her Friday too, starting pretty early in the morning. So, this few hours of one day babysitting evolved into all day tomorrow, a "sleepover" lol, and half a day on Friday. This should be interesting b/c I've never had a sleepover with a 3 year old. But we're gunna have fun! We're gunna make cookies, and play, and build a fort and stuff so hopefully she gets all tired out and falls alseep early! Haha anyways, should be an interesting day. I am excited about Moe's though...haven't been there in a while and I do love it! Wow, I'm so tired....long day ahead so bedtime for bonzo for me! Goodnight.

Long Time No...Getting any younger...

Hey well, it's been quite some time since I have been on here. And I'm not very sorry for it...lol...I have been over the top busy and just not really had the time or the desire to write on here.
I've been working at Sam's Club. Thank the Lord it is almost time to leave to go back to school. I've decided that 3 months of the place is all I can really take. Now, don't get me wrong, I do think it is a good job. But, there's only so much of it before I start looking at the clock every 5 minutes wishing it was time to leave.
In happier news, I finished my summer online classes! Who knows how I did in them, and quite frankly, right now, I don't even care. Just as long as they are DONE! That makes me so happy! I don't really enjoy online classes. I'd much rather be in the classroom with a teacher. But, praise the Lord I got some credits out of the way.
Well, I turned 21 on Wednesday the 18th. That was pretty exciting. Haha. No, it was a good birthday. I did have to work, but it wasn't too bad b/c it was only 830-2. After work I went over to JC and got my allergy shot and then met my parents and grandparents at Olive Garden at 3pm for a late lunch early dinner sort of thing. It was a good time. My grandparents are so sweet and I honestly don't think they will be around for very much longer so I want to get all the time with them that I can. When I got home, my new phone have arrived in the mail! It wasn't a birthday present, but it was cool how it came on my birthday! I was (AM!!!) so excited about it! It's a pink RAZR phone and it is soooo cute! Anyways, I got a dvd and a gift card to Dick's from my parents. We had also made homemade ice cream the night before, so we had that too. Overall it was a nice, relaxing birthday.
But, turning 21 got me thinking. I was sure a few years ago that by the time I was 21 I would have done a lot of things that I have not yet done in my life. Now I'm not saying that I sat down and made a list entitled, "Things to Do by Age 21" or anything haha but looking back, I guess I always just assumed I would have done certain things. Things like...having my first boyfriend. I don't think I'm wrong in saying that lots of people think they are going to go to college, meet someone, fall in love, and get married soon after graduating. And I'm sure that happens for lots of people. I guess since I wasn't so popular with the guys in highschool, that I thought when I went away to college, things would be different. But I guess not. I laugh because every year after school it's like "ok only 3 more years left.." "ok only 2 more years left..." and now I have only 1 more year left of college before I'm on my own. But, in reality, I have my whole life to find somebody to love. I don't have, ya know, 9 more months to be around people my age. I have a long time and I'm sure God will provide. I want to love someone. I want to be loved. It is one of the deepest desires of my heart and I know God wants to grant me that. Almost every night last semester I would pray that God would show me who He has for me. And I will continue to do so until that day comes. I used to think that "grown ups" that were single were like weird and must have some sort of problem or something. But, I am regretful that I ever thought that. It may have been God's timing that I wasn't seeing. Ya know what? God is good all the time. And all the time....God is good. He's been so good to me. I know He has a plan for my life and if it is to never get married, then I will have to learn to be ok with that. God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me. :-)

Would You Like To Donate A Dollar?

Haha soooooo Today at work we were supposed to ask every person that came through our line if they wanted to donate a dollar to the Children's Miracle Network. Now, I know for a fact that I was really the only good employee that did that! LOL! I had like 30 by the end of the day and nobody else had anything....and I was so uncomfortable all day long doing that!!! But anyways, it was interesting some of the responses I got....
There was the typical: "No" just straight up
There was the: "Naaaah..."
There was the: "Not today" and I thought "yeah right"
There was the : "Sure" or "Yes"
AND There was my all time favorite: "Well, sure...I guess it'll make the kids happy, right?"
HAHAHA.....yeah it'll make them happy....and make them live!
Well that was just my good time from yesterday

On a more negative note, I have been getting headaches every day when I get home from work. I used to think it was because I pretty much don't eat all day, but even after I eat dinner, they don't go away. They are usually pretty bad and last night's made me want to throw up. I don't know what's going on, but please pray that these go away and don't get more serious.

Alright, well I have lots to do today like go pick up my bridesmaids dress for Becky's wedding!!! YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! and I gotta buy a book for my summer class and stuff and then I gotta work 330-9 soooo have a great day!

I THANK GOD FOR
-parents that love me
-a computer w/ internet so i can take online classes
-a job

In the summertime when the weather is.....cold...

Well, I decided to make a blog here because xanga is pretty much dead (even though I still get on it occasionally) and also I just like this site a lot. It seems like a good one. Also, it helps me keep in touch with even more people.

It's been quite chilly this weekend and I don't really like it!!!! It's the summertime for cryin out loud! Or....almost the summertime, anyways....

I am home from school. I just finished my Junior year at Clearwater. It was, to date, the most trying semester of my college career. There were multiple times that I just wanted to quit. I'm not a big quitter and I've never felt like that about school before. It seemed like there was no reason to stay at school and get pounded like I was. It didn't really seem worth it to me. But, I know that is where God wants me. I'm somebody who likes things told to me straight up. Just give me the facts without all the extras and I'm good to go. Sometimes I wish God would just say something like, "this is where I want you" or "that's not where I want you" or "you should do such-and-such". But, He hasnt chosen to communicate with us in that way. Through prayer and stuff like that and also encouragement from people I respect, I stuck out the semester. Right at the moment, I'm not super-excited for August, but I'm sure I'll get there eventually. I've always wondered if I shouldn't have gone to school and just worked. Or if I should have gone to BBC, which was an option way back when. Or if I should have gone somewhere else to school, because a lot of times, many other options look so much more appealing. But, when I find myself questioning where I am, I remember that God has me where I am for a purpose. Already, in the 3 years I've been at school, I've learned so much about God and about my relationship with Him. I've figured out more about what I believe and what I don't believe. I've met people who have changed my life. Now, I'm sure that if I were somewhere else, those things may have taken place at some point, but God specifically placed me where I am to "impact eternity" (haha that's clearwater's slogan thing and normally it makes me laugh, but I really like it now....).

Speaking of communicating with God, even though we don't hear Him talking, He does communicate with us. Us little annoying people. That's the amazing thing! He is the ALMIGHTY God who created the universe and He wants to have a relationship with me! It's just so (and pardon the word, but for lack of a better one which I cannot even begin to express) cool! I know my relationship with Him hasn't been the greatest. I get "busy". Or what I think is busy, and slack off on my end. But He is always waiting there for me, ready to teach me what He has for me.

I've had some problems with being content lately. It's like, I'm so focused on myself and not God, that I start thinking about all the things I don't have instead of thanking God for all the things I do have. I was actually driving down the road the other day pouting to myself about something I'm without, and I had the radio on. Now, normally I don't listen to the speakers on the radio, but some guy came on and was talking about contentedness. It was like he knew what I was thinking and told me right there that I was wrong. It was definitely a God thing and I was humbled. This past week I've been trying to make a conscious effort to, when I start thinking about stuff that I don't have, to start thanking God for what I do have and what He has blessed me with. So I think everytime I write on here (we'll see how often that is...), I will be listing a few things that I have come up with to be thankful for. They will be things that have stemmed from my complaints so they may seem odd, but it's ok haha :) [see, i complained about the weather earlier in the post...just goes to show you how easy it is...]

I hope you all have a blessed day and thank God for something today!
Alissa Kay


I THANK GOD FOR....
-feet so i can walk
-a house
-the ability to love a special someone when the time comes
-weather/seasons...it's not always the same!