Being Friendly

Every day for the past week, I have had to wait as there is only one lane open on 267 due to those guys who cut down trees on the sides of the road and make wood chips out of them. Haha...I'm not sure I'd call it construction, but I guess it could be considered "road work" even though they're not working on the road. Anyway, they have their little "STOP" and "SLOW" signs [which, by the way, I've always wanted to be one of the people who get to talk on the walkie-talkies and turn the signs]. So, usually when I go by those guys [or girls] that are doing the signs, I don't bother to look at them. I guess I don't really think about it. But, for the past week, I've passed them almost 4 times every day. So this morning, I decided to actually give a glance at the guys that were doing the signs....and don't ya know, they smiled and waved. I definitely was not expecting that out of them so the next time I went by I made sure to smile. I just think nowadays, people are too involved in themselves and too caught up in what they have to do, where they have to be, and what time they have to be there to even have the decency to look around and maybe offer a friendly smile to a fellow human being. Eh, anyway, that's about it...

"Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day." ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

prayer through song

Sometimes I am too overwhelmed to pray. Not only can I not speak the words I want to speak to the Lord, but I cannot even think them. It's like when you're standing there in front of someone and you just want to say something, anything...but you can't think of anything to say so you just stand there with your mouth open and your palms upward, silently apologizing for not being able to speak. There are times when my heart longs for my voice to pour out praises to God, but His goodness is so powerful and overtaking that I just can't. Then there are times, like right now, when I feel so lost and scared and alone, that I can't even cry out. I know He knows what's in my heart, but I still want to tell Him. It's during these very times that I often rely on the wonderfully expressed words of songwriters that so vividly portray my heart's cry. I listen to songs and use them as a prayer when I can't get a prayer to leave my lips.
Tonight is one of those nights. Funny thing is, I've been sitting here for over 5 minutes trying to figure out what to write about what I'm feeling and what I'm going through or just anything...and well I just can't. So, here's my prayer for tonight...

He Will Carry Me by Mark Schultz

I call, You hear me
I’ve lost it all
And it’s more than I can bear
I feel so empty

You’re strong
I’m weary
I’m holdin’ on
But I feel like givin’ in
But still You’re with me

chorus:
And even though I’m walkin’ through
The valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I’ve been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will
Ever need
And He will carry me

I know I’m broken
But You alone
Can mend this heart of mine
You’re always with me

chorus

And even though I feel so lonely
Like I’ve never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said you’d see me through
The storm

chorus

Sigh

Last night I cried/prayed myself to sleep...there's TONS of things just weighing on my heart and mind and it's so hard to give them all over to the Lord...apparently I'm a control freak when it comes to that.

Moving to Florida?

There's a possibility (I'd say it's a big possibility) that I could be moving back to Florida to teach in the fall. I'm not telling too many people so I thought it would be okay if I wrote it on here because only a few (probably more like no) people read this. So, even though it's on the internet, I find it relatively safe!
ANYWAYS, back to my original statement...I could be moving back to Florida. Here's the deal...my freshman year of college, I had a senior roommate named Sarah. Sarah now teaches at a Christian school in Port St. Lucie, Florida, on the east coast. She has been bugging me since January that I really should send my resume down to the school. They are expanding and looking to get rid of some not-so-great teachers and get some good ones in. The funny things is, Sarah's mom is the administrator and her parents have actually taken me out to dinner when Sarah was in school and I've met her mom on several occasions. So, at least there's not the fear of meeting the administrator, right? I say all that to say that I mailed my resume yesterday. I am *hoping* I get a call from them and I am *hoping* I can get a interview. I am praying a lot about this. So far, it seems like it is the Lord's will for me. PLUS! Sarah owns a house and would love for my to live with her...that takes care of the finding housing issue!

So, right now, I am waiting. And that's one of the hardest things to do...so if you read this, I would appreciate your prayers! Thanks!